Parents who help their children overcome shyness are actually giving them a gift. Yes, a gift. You see, shyness robs people of opportunities in life. While many children outgrow shyness with time, for those of us who carry their shyness forward into adulthood, life becomes one series of missed opportunities after another. Anything you can do to ease you child's shyness will, in turn, decrease the number of opportunities you child misses over the course of his/her life. That is truly a gift. So then, what can a parent do?

Identify the Nature of Shyness

Identify the nature of your child's shyness. Children are shy in different ways for different reasons. Is your child shy in a group? Meeting new people? Does your child have trouble in public? Paying with other children? Making phone calls? Or, is your child having stage fear? Knowing the nature of child's shyness will help you identify the specific skills your child needs to be more at ease in social situations.

There are a number of conditions that masquerade as, or can lead to shyness – many of which require professional attention. Children may struggle with non-verbal learning disabilities. Interfere with their ability to read social cues and understand how to enter and leave play or answer questions at an appropriate level. Other children struggle with extreme anxiety, while still others have difficulty establishing emotional bonds with other people. Most of these conditions benefits from supportive structured environments that emphasize the development of social skills. Strategies for managing anxiety, impulses and the ability to read the signs and interface succeeds most of the time. However, whenever you see your child failing time and again, it is time to step back. Give him space and opportunity to relate at an emotional level without being critical. The specific nature of the social skills and treatment strategies, however, is likely to vary with your child's needs.

Be A Role Model to Your Child

Children learn by watching the people around them – Parents that means you! With time, your ability to approach others and put them at ease can help to put your child at ease too.

But what if you are shy yourself? Then there's good chance your child is also shy. Since nearly 50% of adults are believed to be shy, it stands to reason that nearly 50% of children have at least one shy parent and in our society about 25% of children have two shy parents. It's hard to role model socially when you're struggling with shyness yourself. All you can do is do try. Make an effort to improve your social skills and let your children know that you are making an endeavour Share your experiences with your children and promote mutual learning. Practice new found handshake, conversation and introduction skills with your children, friends and family. Role modeling social skills for your children, even in the privacy of your home, can help them improve social skills and is likely to improve yours, as well.

Teach Social Skills

When it comes to social skills, the earlier you begin teaching them the better. The prevalence of shyness among children is believed to increase with age. The following steps may help to teach your children the require social skills.

• Encourage your children to play outdoors when they are young and seek out safe places for your children to interact with others and practice social skills ad they get older.
• Teach your children how to enter and exit groups and how to read other people's signals.
• Help your children understand what it takes to make and keep a good friend.
• At home, teach etiquettes, practice smiling, compliment each other and shaking each other's hands each time you greet each other. Make learning social skills a natural part of their life.

Creative Problem Solving

Shy people tend to worry a lot. They are afraid of failures. One of the most important things you can teach your children is that failure provides the feedback we need. This helps to become good at the things we choose to do and improves creativity. Teach your children to think creatively. Show them how to brainstorm and how to generate more than one solution for their problems. Prepare them for disappointment, but teach them to persevere until they find an answer that works. By teaching creativity and ability to learn form feedback will make your children self-confident. Thomas Edison was said to have tried thousands of filaments before he found one that worked. By the way he was shy too.

Go Step by Step

The surest way to help your child overcome shyness is to break things down into small enough steps. So you scratch your head and see what you can do to break you child's activities into smaller steps that are easier to achieve. The key here is to ensure that whatever behaviour your child ends up doing turns out to be a success. Your job as a parent is to monitor and periodically adjust those steps to determine the size that's best for your child. With practice, your child will be able to raise the size of his/her steps to higher and higher levels.

Identify Talents and Hobbies

Identify talents and hobbies that make your child feel special. The more things we do, the more interesting we become to ourselves and other people. This helps our self-esteem to grow. We have more things to talk about and, if nothing else, the activities give out brains a little exercise.

Encourage your children to develop passions early in life. Even if they don't like the first few things they try, the journey will make them richer for the experience. Just know that the more things your children do in lie, the more things they will have to share with other people and it will be easier of them to connect. For a shy child, the ability to connect with another child is one of ht greatest gifts they can receive.

Identify activities that take advantage of your child's strengths. Is your child athletic? Artistic? Neat and organized? Good at math? Loves to read? Good at building things? What holds his/her attention? What is least likely to discourage him/her? And find activities that take advantage of those strengths. If your child is very shy and unwilling to attend group activities, start with solitary activities at first – like music lessons, arts and crafts, project out of books. Then, as your child gains more confidence, arrange opportunities for him/her to get guidance from other adults and gradually – with time to share his/her work or simply let ht child describe what she/he is doing. Many children benefits by teaching their skills to children who are younger than them.

Help to Manage Emotions

Help your child learn to manage his/her emotions. Help your children understand that “feelings” like “failures” are something to learn from. These are signals that, like traffic lights, direct ourlives. When they're green our feelings are good and it's business as usual. When they're yellow, we may be felling a bit shaky. It's best to slow down and proceed with caution. However, if they turn red, it's a sign that something isn't working. It is simply a matter of stopping and rethinking what we are doing, so that we come up with a better plan. Never tell your child it's wrong to cry or that she/he is not feeling what she/he is feeling. Teach your child to know his/her emotions, accept them as natural, know that hurt doesn't last forever and that with time they too can learn the skills to cope.

Teach tolerance and respect for others. Shy people are notoriously judgemental – both of themselves and others. The more judgmental you are as a parent, he more opportunity your children will have to learn to internalize those judgements even though you may have intended to direct them at someone else. When shy children overhear parents criticizing other people, they assume that's what everyone does i.e. criticize others. They learn that going out in public means you will be continuously judge. What's more, by judging other people harshly, your child teaching their skills to childrne what she/he is doing/.an help them imprpove ld' may come to believe that you are judging him/her harshly as well. In time, their world can become an unsafe place. When it comes to using criticism with shy children, remember…..”less is more!” The more forgiving you are of others, the more forgiving your children are likely to be of themselves.

If Needed Seek Professional help

While many children outgrow their shyness, many other carry it forward into adulthood. If your child is struggling---particularly if your child is challenged by a non-verbal learning disability or if you have a history of anxiety disorders, depression or substance abuse in your family---consider getting, professional help. The right support can help your child to get rid of shyness. This will help improve his/her development. In many cases, it will be fine to start by reading books or talking with other parents of other shy children. If these avenues fail or should you want more immediate help for your child, it's best to consult a qualified professional who has expertise and is familiar with resources in this area.